Saturday, September 08, 2018

Use the Crutch

When I was addicted to porn, there were good things I held on to. Gentle rebukes that would help me see out of the fog. This song was one of them.

But the fact was; I needed help. I could see out of the fog, but I couldn't walk out of it by myself.

Of course, my pride got in the way of admitting this truth. Of telling people that I couldn't control my porn addiction. Of telling them that I needed help.

To confess is to agree with the truth.

Confession blew a hole in my pride. I found that it became easier to resist porn with every single person I admitted my problem to. Some people didn't want to help, some people didn't seem to care. But every time I confessed to someone else another hole was blown in my pride-boat.

We have so many defenses for our pride. "That's just a crutch." "It won't actually solve the problem." It's true. Crutches don't heal. But they support you while you heal. They let you return to a semblance of normalcy while you heal.

So use the crutch. Admit that you are lying in the hospital bed, immobile. Let your pride-boat sink so that its cargo of porn drowns.

And keep good music on your phone. When I say, "good music" I mean "music that is good for you." The sort of Bible memory stuff you listened to as a kid. Don't be ashamed of the crutch; use it.